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Medea d'Colchis
26 April 2006 @ 11:19 am
"I stand here on the summit of the mountain.
I lift my head and I spread my arms.
This, my body and spirit, this is the end
of the quest. I wished to know the meaning
of things. I am the meaning. I wished
to find a warrant for being. I need no
warrant for being, and no word of sanction
upon my being. I am the warrant and the sanction.

It is my eyes which see, and the sight of
my eyes grants beauty to the earth. It is
my ears which hear, and the hearing of my
ears gives its song to the world. It is my
mind which thinks, and the judgement of
my mind is the only searchlight that can
find the truth. It is my will which chooses,
and the choice of my will is the only edict
I must respect.

Whatever road I take, the guiding star
is within me; the guiding star and the
loadstone which point the way. They point
in but one direction. They point to me."

I don't agree with everything Ayn Rand, but I like many of her points, and Anthem is a favorite of mine.
Hubris: ecstaticecstatic
Charm the Strange: Hava Nagila - Dick Dale
Medea d'Colchis
16 April 2006 @ 04:55 pm
Mike came up with the title (Looking for the God Particle) in honor of CERN, European Neuclear Research, because they are nearing the completion of the building of the largest particle accelerator in the world. With it they hope to find "the God Particle". Higgs-Particle, or Higgs-Boson, is the proper name for the "God Particle". They are hoping to validate and unify their theories which were complicated by the discovery that certain force carriers do have mass after all. Photons, the force carriers of electro-magnetism, don't have mass, but in trying to combine the theories of electromagnetism with quantum weak force they found that the force carrier for weak force does have mass, so it couldn't be a photon acting oddly... unless... there was something called a Higgs-bosun.

The Higgs Particle (a scalar field/particle - Most fields and particles move, scalar ones don't) and its field - sounds allot like the Ether theory, or Vacuum theory. Its a field that exists every where, doesn't move anywhere, and it has strength (like water you live in all the time, but aren't aware of). If they find their "God particle" we will hear more about the Ether theory, because the premise upon which it was discredited will have been proven wrong.

So soon they will be ready to begin and it will be covered on the web. We are likely to see some very wonderful new technology come from this research.

Note - This is my understanding from the lecture I listened to, so if I got it wrong don't blame Mike.

In a mecanistic view of the universe, the clockwork of the universe was winding down, and will run out. They forgot that to run down, it first had to be wound up.

Einstein said: "All I want to know are the thoughts of God. Everything else is trivial."
Medea d'Colchis
04 April 2006 @ 06:47 pm
I dreamed I was a great green snake in a pear tree, and then I was a Cretan snake goddess. I became entrances with serpent symbolism and totemic belief. Soon my daughter complained of seeing infrared snakes around the house.

I was swimming with my other daughter and there was a deep dark drop off not far from shore. I peered into in thinking there could be anything living in the dark bottom of a lake. There could even be sea serpents. Just then my daughter says: "I don't want to scare you, but I just saw a huge scaly thing swim by. I'm sure it must be infrared but lets get out now."

I was using a spider in my blue body web work recently, and this weekend my second daughter said to me she saw a huge spider head peering in through the window at her. It had more than eight eyes, and reminded her of Shelob. She said she knew it was an infrared being but still it was so real she had to duck out of sight to get a grip on herself.

I was thinking of things we could perhaps create as helpful creatures, like my gaurdian dragon, and thought (in a Harry Potter mood) a niffler to bring treasure and a house elf to do the cleaning would be nice. She saw both, or at least she saw the shadow of a "house elf" and a white mouse thing with a pompom on the end of his tail.

Obviously I need to be careful about what I am giving thought to.
Medea d'Colchis
02 April 2006 @ 09:26 pm
I have loved this song but only today bothered to look up the meaning of the words used in it (not actually lyrics) Now I know why I love it so.

Navras - a Hindi word which, broken down, means nine ("nava") emotional states ("rasa") that are exhibited during music, drama, and the visual arts. The nine different states are as follows:
1. Love
2. Humor
3. Pathos
4. Wrath
5. Heroism
6. Horror
7. Disgust
8. Supernaturalism
9. Peace
The lyrics from the song "Navras" are taken from the Upanisads, a set of documents written in sanskrit used in the Hindu religion.

Brhadaranyaka Upanisad 1.3.28

asato ma sad gamaya
tamaso ma jyotir gamaya
mrtyor mamrtam gamaya

From delusion lead me to truth
From darkness lead me to light
From death lead me to immortality.)

Isa Upanisad 11

vidyam cavidyam ca yas
tad vedobhayam saha
avidyaya mrtyum tirtva
vidyayamrtam asnute

(Meaning: He who knows both knowledge and action, with action overcomes death and with knowledge reaches immortality.)

Mundaka Upanisad 2.2.5

yasmin dyauh prthivi cantariksam otam manah saha pranais ca sarvaih tam evaikam janatha atmanam anya vacah vimuncatha amrtasya esah setuh

(Meaning: In him are woven the sky and the earth and all the regions of the air, and in him rest the mind and all the powers of life. Know him as the ONE and leave aside all other words. He is the bridge of immortality.)

Katha Upanisad 6.7

indriyebhyah param mano
manasah sattvam uttamam
sattvad adhi mahan atma
mahato vyaktam uttamam

(Meaning: Beyond the senses is the mind, and beyond the mind is reason, its essence. Beyond reason is the Spirit in man, and beyond this is the Spirit of the Universe, the evolver of all.)

Katha Upanisad 6.10

yada pancavatisthante
jnanani manasa saha
buddhis ca na vicestate
tam ahuh paramam gatim

(Meaning: When the five senses and the mind are still, and reason itself rests in silence, then begins the Path supreme.)

Mundaka Upanisad 2.2.8

bhidyate hrdayagranthis
chidyante sarvasamsayah
ksiyante casya karmani
tasmin drste paravare

(Meaning: And when he is seen in his immanence and transcendence, then the ties that have bound the heart are unloosened, the doubts of the mind vanish, and the law of Karma works no more.)

Om shanti shanti shanti

Like many mantras, this one begins with "Om". Om has no meaning, and its origins are lost in the mists of time. Om is considered to be the primeval sound, the sound of the universe, the sound from which all other sounds are formed. You could regard it as being the equivalent of white light, in which all of the colors of the rainbow can be found. One Sanskrit-English dictionary says the following: "A word of solemn affirmation and respectful assent , sometimes translated by 'yes , verily , so be it' (and in this sense compared with Amen ; it is placed at the commencement of most Hindu works , and as a sacred exclamation may be uttered at the beginning and end of a reading of the Vedas or previously to any prayer ; it is also regarded as a particle of auspicious salutation [Hail!] ; Om appears first in the Upanishads as a mystic monosyllable , and is there set forth as the object of profound religious meditation , the highest spiritual efficacy being attributed not only to the whole word but also to the three sounds A, U, M, of which it consists "

Shanti simply means "peace". It's a beautiful meaning and also a very beautiful sound. The shanti is repeated three times, as are many chants in Buddhism. You could interpret this as meaning peace in body, speech, and mind (i.e. in the entirety of one's being), or as a wish for peace individually, collectively, and universally.

Hindu teachings typically end with the words Om shanti shanti shanti as an invocation of peace, and the mantra is also used to conclude some Buddhist devotional ceremonies.
Medea d'Colchis
16 March 2006 @ 06:55 pm
One way of knowing if you are acting from Spirit or from "personality" is that everything related to the personality has survival value. It takes self honesty to see the root of our behaviors, but that is because we have taught to be so judgmental of ourselves and others. There is nothing wrong with survival, and survival behaviors are something we develop when we are too small, or too young, or too abused to know know our own power. There should be no judgment in this, but there should be awareness of our own truth.
I was given a list to work with, and a format.
The list is: pain, insecurity, fear, doubt, success, failure, lack, prejudice, and war.
The format is: "My survival is enhanced by_____ because..." and "but my spirit is hurt by ____ because"

My survival is enhanced by pain because... when I am in pain other people help me, and they seem to feel good about doing so, sort of superior. So, it also puts me in their good graces.
But my spirit is hurt by pain because... it tells me convincingly that I don't have already what I need to be happy. It is a denial of my own strength.

My survival is enhanced by insecurity because... when I do not assume my worth, then I overcompensate, and this false humility usually cools down any hot egos who may, in turn, need a bit of groveling to feel secure.
But my spirit is hurt by insecurity because... I forget my worthiness. I forget that my God sees the world through my eyes and that without my seeing the beauty of the world there is no reason for it to exist around me. In insecurity I drive away the good things I am worthy of.

My survival is enhanced by fear because... it keeps me out of dangerous situations
But my spirit is hurt by fear because... it keeps me in the known, in stagnation, and stagnation is equivalent to dying.

My survival is enhanced by doubt because... if I am not trusting the it gives no one, and no thing, the opportunity to hurt me.
But my spirit is hurt by doubt because... doubt is not knowing, so that if I hold onto doubt I never know the truth of the beauty, and frailties of other people. Doubt, in terms of doubting God's power, and my power through my God, to do the miraculous, keeps the miraculous away as well.

My survival is enhanced by success because... it enhances my standing in the eyes of others, as well as bringing material comfort and security.
But my spirit is hurt by success because... it encourages me to see the world in terms of competition, and to stratify the worth of everyone, including myself, in terms of material possessions. It is also very addictive to have a great deal of comfort. It keeps us in a zone of comfort that is stagnating.

My survival is enhanced by failure because... in failure I do not arouse the jealousy of those more or less powerful, both of which may have the power to harm me, or mine.
But my spirit is hurt by failure because... it is founded in weakness. I would have to deny the power of my spirit in order to stay in failure.

My survival is enhanced by lack because... like pain, it attracts the help of others. Also, most of us are familiar with lack, and to throw it off is a step into the unknown, and survival's reasoning finds anything unknown to be fearful.
But my spirit is hurt by lack because... it tells me I am not able to meet my own needs, and is a denial of the power AND love of my Spirit for me.

My survival is enhanced by prejudice because... it allows me to associate unknowns, to things that I have experience with, and may at times provide me an early warning; for example, if my pet cat is at times vicious, I might suspect all cats of having this potential, and save myself from a lion.
But my spirit is hurt by prejudice because... I am, by doing this, telling an unknown how it must be and denying myself a virginal experience. And the point of life, as I understand it, is to make known the unknown.

My survival is enhanced by war because... when we defeat others we secure a commodity for ourselves, perhaps status, a mate, or financial advantage.
But my spirit is hurt by war because... we are all connected. To defeat, or, more sneakily, besmirch another's reputation; I would have done it to myself and would feel that pain I caused. Also it is based on the assumption that God hasn't provided enough, so that what there is has to be won.

It is as if survival was a squid, that has a tentacle wrapped around all the various neuronets relating them back to survival. I am fortunate that I have to look back at my past to see what survivalist theme each of these once played in my life. Not that I am completely without, but life is ever so much sweeter now. These examples are a good illustration of why the personality needs to be tamed, rather than gotten rid of. Because survival is important too, it just can't take precedence if one desires to be a master.
Medea d'Colchis
15 March 2006 @ 08:55 am
The word 'Avalokiteshvara' is derived from the Pali verb oloketi which means "to look at, to look down or over, to examine or inspect." The word avalokita has an active signification, and the name means, "the lord who sees."

The name Avalokiteśvara is made of four parts: the verbal prefix ava, which means "down"; the verb lok, which means "to look"; the suffix ita, which changes the verb avalok into a noun, "one who looks down"; and finally īśvara, "lord" or "master". In accordance with the rules of sound combination, ishvara becomes eshvara. Combined, the four parts mean "Lord Who Gazes Downward".

It is interesting to note here that a dominant feature in the description of Avalokiteshvara ... he is often represented with a thousand eyes symbolizing his all encompassing ability to view ('with compassion the suffering of others' - this article dwells on an interpretation of compassion not originally intended. It is helpful to find compassion, and masters are known for their compassion, but enlightenment was the aim)... Not only that, he further has a thousand hands.

"Om mani padme hum" is probably the most famous mantra in Buddhism, the six syllabled mantra of the bodhisattva of compassion, Avalokiteshvara. The Dalai Lama is said to be an incarnation of Avalokiteshvara, so the mantra is especially revered by his devotees. Pronunciation: O-oom mani pay(or pahd)-dmay hoom. A popular translation is "Hail the jewel in the lotus". Om = Hail, Mani = Jewel, Padme = Lotus and Hum sums it all up.

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Medea d'Colchis
12 March 2006 @ 07:43 pm
I bought the What the Bleep book recently. It is not light reading. I am studying it a bit at a time, as I really want to hardwire this knowledge. It has occurred to me that this is the science of magic that I intuited must exsist when I was still a girl with seemingly limmited resources, but a big hunger for something really remarkable.

Paradox 1 - atoms are mostly empty space. If the nucleus of an aton was the size of a basket ball, the nearest electron would be twenty miles away. But the emptiness isn't just nothing. Scientists believe there is more energy within the space of one cubic centimeter of mass, than there is in the entire explicit universe.

Paradox 2 - Subatomic particles exist as a wave function, or a a probability, and seem to only collapse into an actual particle when observed. This ties in to what Ramtha said about the things behind you begining to fuzz out when you weren't observing them. This says to me that a thing not give the credence of you observing their existance, perhaps a neuronet not visited, will fall apart perhaps permanently, thus freeing that for a new creation.

Paradox 3- Electrons do not orbit the nucleus of an atom, they appear in one place and then apear in another, without traveling between. They are popping in and out of material existance. And, the pattern of their jumps is seemingly at complete random.

Paradox 4 - The Uncertainty Principle. You can know the position of a subatomic particle, or its velocity, but not both, as IS possible in Newtonian Physics. Einstein really didn't like this, and it seems this was what prompted his famous quote "God does not play dice with the Universe", to which Bohr responded: "Stop telling God what to do."

Paradox 5 - Quantum Entanglement and Nonlocality. In this Quanta that are created in the same instance are sort of related in that what happens to one is instantaneously felt by the others it is entangled with, no matter the distance. This is like that experiment where two test subjects are introduced then taken to seprate, shielded rooms, and one is subjected to stimuli, but the other is not. Their ECG readings show that the subject not stimulated had brain waves like the fellow who was, at the same time. They were entangled, but they were unconscious of it.

Paradox 6 - A subatomic particle may be in two or more places at the same time. The latest test of this determined they could be at atleast 3000 places at the same time.

If a particle can do all these things then I, who am made of them ought to be able to as well.
Medea d'Colchis
10 March 2006 @ 10:42 am
She said in her talk today that she gives her focus to that which she is, not that which she doesn't want to be a part of her reality. This really resonated with me.

She also was saying that we become our parents, and learn from them lack. Then everything in mundane reality seems to confirm our lack of power, our lack. TV, teachers, religions... all tell us what we can expect from the world in terms of abundance.

She went on to say we often feel undeserving of abundance, but tells her students that manifesting abundance benefits everyone. It teaches that such a thing is possible, and even in a mass to mass way a wealthy person helps everyone just by spending money. If the person feels deep unworthiness they can take on a charity project and get involved in helping the poor directly... thus earning their own feeling of worthiness.

Then she has people manifesting abundance, but the won't do it again. They see it work and won't do it, because such a thing means change.

She talked about "walking my talk", which is actually walking and meditating on what you wish to manifest, so the ideal becomes part of you biochemically. And it is living your philosophy.

Then she talked about romancing life. To find and love the God in all things. She talked about Mother Theresa saying she did not focus on the pus and smells, she looked the people in their eyes and said to herself that in this body she would never come closer to seeing God than that.

"To become peaceful is to do away with the facades, the illusions, the images, that you wear for everyone and simply be free, wild, and wonderful to you. To obtain peace you must be willing to give up your unhappiness and simply allow yourself to be." -Ramtha
Medea d'Colchis
08 March 2006 @ 04:27 am
Wraps - 6 of Wands... Creative fire is more prevalent than sexual fire

Crosses - Hermit... I am not spending enough time meditating

Past - A of Wands... I have already been experiencing a heightened creative urge

Now - 4 of Swords... Four LJ I wish to express my thoughts in

Soon - Moon... perhaps I will be starting my period again soon, perhaps my body starts to show some changes

Later - Q of Coins... mastery of an actual physical manifestation


Myself - 9 Of Wands... divinity in creative fire

My House - Empress... my mind maturing into a Christ

Hopes/Fears - Death... same thing, fearing actual change

Outcome 1 - 5 of Cups... Divine love

Outcome 2 - Ace of Swords... New begining in thought

Outcome 3 - Page of Wands... Runner of creativity or passion

Outcome 4 - Ace of Cups... New begining in love

Outcome 5 - Judgement... More mastery of predjudices

There seem to be alot of wands this time, which would indicate creative fire. Also alot of aces, new beginings.
Medea d'Colchis
28 February 2006 @ 08:03 am
"Fear is not knowing. Understand it. Fear is not knowing." -Ramtha

What is there to fear when you know that you are an immortal entity. Only the body ends, if it ends. In a reality of no time the body itself never ends. Am I my body or am I my spirit? When I am in fear I am being my body.

The interpretation of Grimm's fairy tales is coming along well. I seem to have a couple of guys who admire the work sincerely, and I have one troll who hardly bears mentioning. I need to not do these though, if I can't do them well. Last week's was trying, and I had to ask myself: who was I doing it for? I need to do them for myself, for my own understanding, and 'bully for me' if others enjoy too.

Funny about the troll... she was hateful to me because of what I look like, and seemed so sure I don't really look nice, I didn't have the heart to disillusion her. One of the hardest stereo-types to live with is the dumb blond one, I think. Guys always hitting on you. Never knowing if you can trust that it is you they like. Gorgeous men... with very bad habits, and worse attitudes. Nice men who don't dare to ask you out because you are "out of their league". Seductive men who definitely don't give a damn that you are also a person. Women who hate you on sight. Women who can't feel good about themselves until they have found some way to run you down, or make you feel like crap. Men who assume you are too young just because you don't look your age... no wonder I am celibate.

"If I could take all of your words away and give you but a sparse few, they would be: I know I am absolute, I am complete, I am God I Am. If there were no other words but these, you would no longer be limited to this plane." -Ramtha
Hubris: ditzyditzy